By: Amanda Gochez
I bet I’m not the only one that wonders what will happen when one of those dreams you’ve been reaching for finally comes true. I had that moment this weekend. And it was… time stopping. I got the feeling like nothing could ever get better in life. It’s been a stressful few months, and I’ve been looking forward to the trip I took this weekend since Christmas. I got a new perspective on everything and that was exactly what I needed.
I went to a wolf conservatory this weekend. The one thing I love more than reading, writing, and my family, are wolves. Why? Well, they are amazing animals, essential really. A lot of people misunderstand them for savage beasts, but they are no worse than the damage humans do every day.
I went to this conservatory with a lot of LIFE questions in my head. I was starting to confuse myself for weeks now. I’ve been nervous, scared, exhausted, frustrated, and on top of it all, careless. You know, the point where you wonder if maybe working some nine-to-five job is better than being exhausted. I was tired of routine, but I have been looking for jobs and I feel like I am still not qualified for anything, so my frustration built. I was tired of pouring everything I have into something and taking one step forward and two steps back. I started wondering, “What am I doing with my life?” I had six hours to think about it on the way to the wolf conservatory, and let me tell you, the six hours didn’t help.
I mean, all the stress I put myself under is my fault. I have no one to blame but myself. But I push myself, because that is the only way things in life are accomplished. Like most people though, I’m starting to get discouraged in my abilities. That was until this weekend.
It was exhilarating being in the wilderness with grey wolves, artic wolves, and red wolves for the weekend. It has been a dream of mine for years. We got there, put our stuff in a tent, went to the wolf enclosure and howled. Yes, I howled like a wolf all weekend and guess what? I got to see wolves answer me back. Can you imagine being around a campfire, having smores, and in the dark you hear fifty wolves howling? They echoed throughout the entire night wanting to signal to their packmates their location.
Could you imagine sleeping in a tent and at two in the morning be woken up by more howls? Let me tell you, it is exhilarating to have that beautiful music surrounding you. I got to listen to real wolves. I got see real wolves.
I’m still in awe about it. I left with a fresh mind. Who would have thought that all it took was howling my little lungs out? It was an amazing experience, and it let me know that maybe my dreams that I’m working so hard to accomplish, may or may not happen. It reminded me that I can still fulfill other dreams. I’m not saying that my dream to be a literary agent or publisher won’t happen, I’m still trying to figure out how to make it happen. And after seeing all the beauty this past weekend, it reminded me that I don’t need to have everything figured out right now.
This might be my last blog with UrbanEdge, I don’t know yet. I’ve learned so much and I have loved blogging, interning, and reading for them. It’s been an amazing experience just like seeing those wolves this weekend, just on a different spectrum. I guess my advice is, while you might get discouraged by all the work, rejections, and exhaustion, maybe try making those other dreams come true too. Don’t forget your bucket list.
Wolves helped me find my way back to my center. What can help you?